Deceit

i told myself i have to live off myself. It's better living off myself.


BUT NOW IT'S LIKE A KARMA OR WHAT I DON'T KNOW, DEJAVU OR WHAT I DON'T KNOW. I KNOW IMMA FCUKING BIATCH THAT HANGS AROUND WITH LIFE BUT FOR ONCE I KNOW I NEVER PLAY WITH MY HEART. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO STARTED THIS RELATIONSHIP. BUT THEN NOW I'M ACTING LIKE CRAZY LIKE MAD BECAUSE YOU DROVE ME TO THE END. ALL I WANT IS VERY SIMPLE YET WE JUST SEEMS TO HAVE THE BARRIER BETWEEN US THAT KEEP US FROM UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE WANT FROM ONE ANOTHER. YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME AND ALL THE SHIATS COMING OUTTA YA MOUTH YET YOU PROVED ME WRONG BY CALLING HER FOR A STUPID THING I WISH IF I KNEW THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED I WOULD HAVE SMASH IT, AND SEND IT BACK TO HER. AFTER SO LONG YOU TELL ME ALL THE REASONS SHOULD I ACCEPT YOU TELL ME. I ASKED YOU IF I DID THE SAME HOW WILL IT BE, YOU KEPT QUIET. I COULD HAVE RETURN STUFFS TO MY EX. IT'S ALL JUST EXCUSES. IF YOU SPARED A THOUGHT FOR ME NOTHING LIKE THESE WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. PLEASE LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE GOT HER OWN LIFE. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE THEN, IF YOU ARE TO BOTHER ABOUT HER LIFE. IT'S PRETTY CLEAR ISN'T IT? TAKE IT THAT I'M SELFISH, I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE A CHANCE. YOU HEAR THAT. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, AND I AM NOT SHARING YOU. BECAUSE I PUT MUCH MUCH EFFORT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IT'S NOT FAIR FOR ME IN RETURN. BECAUSE YOU CLAIMED TO SAY YOU LOVE ME SO YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THINGS LIKE THIS TO ME AT ALL! I AM NOT SOMEONE WHO HAVE OPEN MIND SO KICK OUT ALL THE THOUGHTS. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE FREEDOM YOU WANT, AND MY ALLOWANCE - MY PERMISSION THAT COMES WITH A SMILE FROM MY FACE FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO. BUT NEVER DO STUPID THINGS LIKE THIS BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY - I AM A WOMEN. AND WOMEN ARE VICIOUS CREATURES. I WILL GO CRAZY. I WILL GO MAD. I MAY HAVE HALO OR HORNS ON TOP. I MAY BE ANYTHING. BECAUSE I AM A WOMEN. WOMEN ARE VULNERABLE. AND LAST OF ALL, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, AND YOU ARE MY ALL. I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING.... EVERYTHING.
I CAN'T WORK NOW. MY MIND IS IN A WHIRL NOW. I AM GOING TO TAKE FEW DAYS LEAVE. I AM GOING TO MIA. I MAY TRAVEL OUT OF SINGAPORE OR I MAY NOT. I MAY LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM, HIDE UNDER MY BLANKET AND EMO FOR FEW DAYS OR I MAY NOT. I MAY CRAZE AND BE A MAD WOMEN OUTDOORS OR I MAY NOT. I MAY SEEMS HAPPY BECAUSE I CONTINUED TO SMILE AND LAUGH BUT THE MORE I LAUGH THE MORE PAINFUL I FELT. AND IF I CRY, I WILL CRY LIKE FOREVER. TELL ME NOW WHAT. I'M NO DIFFERENCE FROM BEING USELESS AIN'T I. FCUK YOU MAY TAN JIA HUI WHY LIVE OFF A GUY AND ACT LIKE ONE STUPID. GET ON WITH IT. FCUK!